I look forward to Parshas Vayishlach every year because within the Pesukim which tell the tale of our forefather, Yaakov, one of my favorite Niggunim is found. Yaakov, in a moment of utter desperation, turns to G-d and bares his soul. He pleads from the depths of his raw fear, vulnerable and weak and desperate to be saved from the evils of his twin brother, Eisav.

קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַֽחֲסָדִים – I have become small from all of Your kindnesses. My dear G-d, you have done so much for me. You have given me a beautiful family and prosperity. I am humbled by your generosity, by your lovingkindness.

הַצִּילֵ֥נִי נָ֛א – save me! I am stranded, I am scared, and I am calling out to You. You, G-d, to Whom I owe my life. Who has given me all that I have and all that I know. I turn to You now, because Who else loves me like You do?

וְאַתָּ֣ה אָמַ֔רְתָּ – You said. You promised that You would do good by me. You swore we would become as many as the sand on the seashore. You cannot forsake me now.

Yaakov’s plea – so raw, so real. Almost as real as our own moments of desperation, when emotion overwhelms and we find ourselves talking to G-d, speaking whichever words come forth from our wounded hearts. Yaakov’s pure and desperate cry for help shows us that we can always, always turn to G-d, even in our most panic-filled moments, when we have nothing left to give. We can open ourselves up and spread our arms as tears and frustration and fear soar up to the heavens. It is during these times when we remind ourselves of our humility, and G-d of His promise – “הֵיטֵ֥ב אֵיטִ֖יב עִמָּ֑ךְ” – “I will do good by you”.

קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַֽחֲסָדִים֙ וּמִכָּל־הָ֣אֱמֶ֔ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֣י בְמַקְלִ֗י עָבַ֨רְתִּי֙ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֣ן הַזֶּ֔ה וְעַתָּ֥ה הָיִ֖יתִי לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַֽחֲנֽוֹת:

הַצִּילֵ֥נִי נָ֛א מִיַּ֥ד אָחִ֖י מִיַּ֣ד עֵשָׂ֑ו כִּֽי־יָרֵ֤א אָֽנֹכִי֙ אֹת֔וֹ פֶּן־יָב֣וֹא וְהִכַּ֔נִי אֵ֖ם עַל־בָּנִֽים:

וְאַתָּ֣ה אָמַ֔רְתָּ הֵיטֵ֥ב אֵיטִ֖יב עִמָּ֑ךְ וְשַׂמְתִּ֤י אֶת־זַרְעֲךָ֙ כְּח֣וֹל הַיָּ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֥ר לֹֽא־יִסָּפֵ֖ר מֵרֹֽב: